While we may be infinite beings having a human experience, this does not bestow upon us the legendary superpowers we seem to expect of ourselves.
Superwoman Syndrome is a term I have coined to describe the unending attempt of women determined to be the ‘perfect woman-homemaker-career woman- (personal preference)’ all rolled into one. This is often attempted at the cost of ignoring their personal care, desires, hopes, dreams and aspirations, and in defiance of all limitations of physical energy, time and other resources.
Below are some consequent emotional scars that the modern woman carries. While all of them may not apply to you (or the ladies in your life), perhaps several of them will.
- Guilt: It is stunning to see the extent to which women hold themselves responsible for the state of lives of people around them. Deeply conditioned to believe that they must be the ‘perfect’ daughter, sister, partner, mother and so on…, no one pauses to question what this ‘perfect’ tag means and whether it holds any basis in reality. Most of it is cultural conditioning, judgments and highly optimistic expectations that are inculcated by our television serials, movies and local gossip circles. You can do your best, but you can’t live other’s lives for them. Nor can you satisfy external expectations.
- Resentment: Many women feel taken for granted and unappreciated. Because they have given themselves the lowest priority in their own life, they have more or less invited others into doing the same. But not recognizing this, there can be conscious or unconscious hope and desire to be acknowledged and since this does not happen, simmering under the surface is resentment. It becomes doubly hard to deal with, because a part of themselves also tends to judge themselves for feeling this resentment. After all, the ‘perfect woman’ tag often closely resembles a door-mat – all in the name of unconditional love.
- Personal Disappointment: Despite any achievements or satisfaction on one front, it is not unusual for them to feel that some talent or ability has been wasted, suppressed, or neglected. So the homemaker feels she had the potential for a great career and the career woman regrets insufficient exploration of homemaking/relationships/hobbies/talents/etc.. The one who tries to juggle both often feels that she could not do justice to either side of herself.
- Not Good Enough: Not good looking enough, not fair enough, not thin enough, not smart enough… There seems to be no end to the ways in which a woman can judge herself. Again, media and community would have you believe in unrealistic facades that are manufactured and bear no semblance to reality.
- Unease With Femininity: So while the last point describes the pressures of external appearance, the softer qualities of caring, kindness, vulnerability, sensitivity are also a point of contention. In work lives, it is not uncommon for women to be aggressive and feel these qualities are a handicap to be overcome. In their struggle to compete with the men, some of them actually begin to reject such natural qualities. On the other hand, the homemaker can feel trapped by the limitations of ‘traditional’ views and opinions about women and hence be upset about their own gender. Unfortunately, even in our so called educated homes, it is not unusual to see gender discrimination. So the thought, “I wish I had been born a boy” can sometimes lurk in the sub-conscious.
- Exhaustion: Carrying the burden of all of the above, it is only natural to find that women are burning the candle at both ends. Making little time for self care and soul nourishment, they continue running on a treadmill that leaves them feeling trapped or victimized.
Hence the invitation: Superwoman – Would you be willing to hang up your cape?
- Would you be willing to review your expectations of yourself to check if they belong to you or are borrowed stories from others?
- Would you be willing to release your image of yourself and allow yourself to be kind, accepting and realistic about who you are?
- Would you be willing to see that your inherent qualities as a woman are actually a source of strength?
- Would you be willing to step out of all limiting definitions and explore various ways of expressing your true self without apology?
- Would you be willing to give your self the loving care and nourishment that you so deserve?
If yes, then please sit down right now and outline three concrete steps you can take to embark on a celebrative journey of being human.
And implement them.
(Many of the above links will take you to EFT scripts that can help you clear your emotional charge while other articles on this blog can support your return to being real, authentic and human.)
Post Script: As those familiar with Access Consciousness may have noticed, the questions I include in my posts can easily be used for clearings with the help of the Access Clearing Statement. As I discussed this intent with my friend and Access Bars Facilitator Aditi Surti, she suggested some additional questions. She has kindly allowed me to share them here:
- Where are you cutting off your own awareness of what being a truly woman means and instead choosing to align with, agree with and buy into meaningless points of view from others about it?
- Everywhere that you have bought into the point of view that something like perfection exists, would you be willing to destroy and uncreate it?
- All across lifetimes, including this one, everywhere you choose to destroy aspects of yourself in order to be perfect, would you now instead choose to BE YOU, in total allowance of everything you are, in total love with who you are and being that, contribute more in the world and truly change the world?
- Where have you bought the story that being guilty means you can do things better, get approval and appreciation and love? Everywhere you have done that, will you now destroy and uncreate it?
Image Source: Cafepress