There are two ways to argue with reality.
One way is to wish that someone or something else were present instead of who or whatever is.
That’s the one we tend to consciously ruminate over. The one that fuels our hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Drives us to positive thinking, visualizations and manifestation attempts. Well used, it may also motivate, inspire and encourage dedicated actions, choices and behaviors that are aligned with our aspirations for our self and our world.
The second way is to deeply desire for someone or something to be absent from your life.
You want to make it go away. It may be summarized and labeled as pain, hurt, suffering, conflict, or whatever else. But you want to make this triggering ‘monster’ go away. You try not to ponder over it, or even admit to it (as the fear of Law of Attraction has been drilled in enough now). We try to bury it and pretend it does not exist. But in the background it simmers and expands. Becoming a magnet for every thought that reinforces a desperate need to escape the present experience.
The thing is that even if it goes away, we tend to replace our obsession of one ‘monster’ with thoughts of another.
The relief we think its departure will bring is usually anti-climatic and short-lived. Look back. See if this is true. Wasn’t there something that you felt you needed to be free of in the past that no longer haunts you today? Most likely yes. Those exams are done with, that illness healed, the debt was paid off, that dysfunctional relationship transformed… Or your relationship with the challenge (whatever it was) changed. Nothing lasts forever or stays stagnant.
Yet, here we are. Again feeling overwhelm, stuckness, helplessness…
Chanting prayers, strategizing, fighting, shutting our eyes and retreating into our cocoons. All in the hope that the current nightmare will end, the ‘monster’ will disappear from our world and we can breathe easy again. Finally then, we will be able to get on with the life we truly want to live. Discover our personal version of ‘Shambala’.
Or so we tell ourselves.
Until we shift our focus from trying to manipulate the situation to finding a more stable, inner peace – outside events will eventually change, but our habitual response will remain the same.
Acceptance is shifting the place from which we operate.
A common resistance to acceptance (ironical, yes?) arises from the misunderstanding that acceptance or non-argument implies remaining stuck in the same place.
To come from a place of inner coherence that remains untouched despite outer happenings – is very different from attempting to seek inner coherence by manipulating outside happenings.
If you would like to try this approach and inculcate a greater inclination to allowance, pick your current ‘monster challenge’ and play with the following questions for a few days. You may or may not find specific answers to them. But parking them in your awareness is likely to bring in a fresh energy, perspective and experience.
Should you have any insights after this practice, writing them down will help anchor them and put your newer responses into action. Any blocks or contributing memories that these questions reveal can be addressed with awareness, EFT, Access Consciousness clearings or any other tool of your choice. (This blog has many related resource posts and you can use the search box or categories for a pin-pointed search.)
- What if the same ease, joy and peace that you believe lies in the absence of this ‘monster challenge’ is available to you today? What would it take for you to be open to that possibility?
- Which judgments, beliefs, and conclusions do you need to release about yourself so that you no longer feel the compulsion to reject the present experience?
- Which judgments, beliefs, and conclusions do you need to release about this ‘monster’ so that you no longer feel the compulsion to reject the present experience?
- What would it take for you to stop making this ‘inconvenience’ so significant?
- What would you stop doing if you already felt an inner calm?
- What would you start doing if you already felt an inner calm?
- What prevents you from embracing those responses now?
May we all awaken from our dreams and nightmares, realizing that those monsters are no real threat to who we truly are!
Image: Tanushree Vaidya Photography