Forgiveness means different things to different people.
Regardless of whether one is coming from a very human perspective of deciding to reclaim peace and letting go of what occurred, or one is coming from a deeper, spiritual place whereby one is able to cast an entirely different, compassionate, and non-attached light on the subject, there is little doubt that when forgiveness feels complete, we ourselves suffer less.
What we sometimes fail to notice is that along with all the rage, frustration and other apparently outwardly directed emotions, there usually also co-exists a subtle/overt violence towards our self.
This may be because we feel foolish, undeserving, helpless, or in some other way – judge ourselves for having had/put ourselves in a place that allowed for an unhappy experience.
So over the years, a great deal of self-judgement and blame can build up in the background.
Now our experience has very likely already taught us that the greater the love and acceptance of our self, the better our general wellbeing; the more the self-judgement, self-dislike, shame, guilt etc, the more the adverse impact on our health.
If you are dealing with chronic pain, health or relationship issues, or have noticed self-sabotage patterns, it is very likely that you may consciously or unconsciously be carrying a lot of unprocessed angst towards your self.
So how do we acknowledge and address all this self-judgement?
The prayer below was written recently, in response to a client’s email. It more or less wrote itself. But in only a short time, I have not only received positive feedback from her, but from several others with whom I shared the same. Consequently, I decided to share it here for other readers.
Like other Poems on this blog, you may either simply read it slowly and mindfully, or use it with the EFT tapping points. (For more information on EFT, please see: http://serenereflection.com/now/emotional-freedom-techniques-eft/)
For all the times I didn’t know better
For all the times I feel
I could have done better,
Or should have done better
For all the commitments I made before
That I now wish I had not
For all the agreements I made
And all the contracts I can’t seem to get out of
For all the momentum of past choices
Seen and unforeseen consequences
That frustrate, exhaust, tire, anger or trap me today
— I forgive myself
For the ability to see beyond
The habits of judgement and blame
The patterns of self-sabotage, guilt creation,
Punishment and shame.
To see that I am
Only playing the character
In a fascinating, immersive game
Hence, it is all a play
In which no one is truly, irreparably hurt
Nor defined by any of their behaviour, choices or traits.
For the remembrance of my essence
The light beyond this role…
That renders all my errors and others’
In fresh lightness and worthy of letting go
I pray for the ease that clarity brings
The acceptance of ups and downs, and flow
All this happened. It hurt.
My self. Perhaps others. Perhaps both.
I apologize to all concerned,
Vowing to do the best I can
From hereon, to be mindful,
To be responsible.
To be present.
To mend what I can and do what I must
And let the remaining rest, and dissolve,
Return to Source.
For at the end of the day.
That’s where we all must go…
Dissolved. Unseparate. Fluid.
Drops embraced back into the ocean’s fold.
(Allow yourself to rest quietly for a few minutes before you resume other activities. Also, please drink some water, especially if you have been tapping.)
Other Resources: Many of those dealing with chronic disease and pain have found noticeable benefits from Forgiveness practices. If you are looking for more such resources, here are some of my other posts around Forgiveness:
How To Dissolve A Long Standing Grievance
Poems: Restoration of Peace
I also recommend looking up and practising Ho’oponopono and/or John Newton’s Comprehensive Forgiveness Prayer For Ourselves.
Would be happy to hear of any shifts you may feel after reading the prayer.
(And if you found the post useful, please share it with others who may benefit.)