Healing The Feminine and Restoring Yin Yang Balance With Self Awareness.

All around us, we are seeing the unveiling of secrets and the exposure of what has been suppressed or denied for years. How women have been treated was rather obvious, but is perhaps being questioned far more than it has been for decades.

Whether it be the fallout of the American political drama, the rape victims all over the world, the housewife subjugated to domestic violence/more subtle but persistent domination/humiliation, the career woman facing the glass ceiling/sexual harassment, or the sadly common threat/disrespect that every female deals with on a daily basis – it is all boiling out into the open.

While the restoration of balance between the Yang(masculine) and Yin(feminine) energies is clearly needed, how we go about trying to arrive at that also needs some thought.  In the pendulum swinging away from one extreme, we often swing far too much in the opposite direction.

Hurt is best healed when it is acknowledged in our self, and witnessed in the other.  Too often, it lies buried under rage, resignation, indifference or blame. Consequently, attention and aggression is directed outwards while the pain itself may remain unaddressed.

Before we try to direct a change in the outer world, it serves us to first arrive at peace within ourselves.  For then, we are able to engage mindfully and appropriately with the manifest.

Women need the compassionate space to reveal and heal their ancient, individual and collective wounds. They have to learn to love, forgive and accept themselves for all they have endured, and knowingly or unknowingly invited or inflicted – on each other as well as on men.
Similarly, men too, have to be allowed a similar space to introspect, forgive themselves and allow their own gentler aspects of vulnerability, empathy, and compassion to emerge.

Those who agree that owning and addressing our inner turbulence is necessary may be struggling with the how of it.  In support of them, I offer below a selection of articles that can serve in the process. Most of these are directly addressed to women, but for those who are interested, searching the blog will provide you with very many other healing scripts/poems and practices.

Additionally, meditating upon the energetically charged Yin Balancing Art and/or Mandala image below has been found impactful by many women.
The first (a digital painting) was channeled during a powerful lunar eclipse.  It is intended to help with the restoration of balance between male and female energies, within us as also in the world at large.  Use this image to own, strengthen, balance and express the feminine energies.
The second was an Ojo I spun chanting Ho’oponopono after a particularly brutal attack on a woman had rocked our nation. It’s soothing energies bring back a gentle strength.

Lastly, the poem below is intended to help one remember that true freedom – wherein we need not judge/suppress feminine qualities, but own them and be ourselves fearlessly. (Try tapping it in with EFT and see how you feel.)

Relevant Articles(in no particular order):

Once there has been some honest inner clearing, you may feel ready to go beyond the confines of labels, archetypes, and genders.  (I feel that is necessary before we can transcend our identification with a personality(male or female)). At which point, you could use this clearing: What Meaning Having You Given This One Thing?

 

yin-energies_numbered

The genie is out of the bottle.
Do not attempt to fit Her back in.
No more bargaining over favors:

Her freedom no longer dependent on your whims
Or her ability to meet your needs,
Blend, constrict and fit in.

You may be surprised to find
That her generosity now flows unabated
Instead of drying up.

Now that She does not have to pay
Her being as a price
She only becomes what She always was.

Like the elephant tied down by a simple peg
Amnesia and conditioning
Had had Her caged.

But just as once water remembers itself
It remains not confined, nor stagnant, nor afraid:
All limiting forms eventually fade.

Continually transforming,
Finding ways
To revisit Home, the higher skies

Yet She returns from there, again and again,
As does nurturing rain when the earth turns dry…
With the love that had always been hidden within – more clarified.

divine-feminine-mandala

If you find any of this useful, please share the post widely with others. Let us support each other in whatever ways we can.

Wait No More

boat by tanushree vaidya

The roots of what troubles us are often deeply hidden from our conscious understanding.  These may sometimes be ancient, including emotions and beliefs that we have inherited from our ancestors or the collective. I discussed this in more detail at Individual Clearings and Collective Consciousness.

Awareness of what is really going on within us and our intent to heal are the two critical components in restoring a sense of well-being.  The beauty of poetry is that it allows us to touch and draw out much of what can be difficult to articulate in words. Pure intellectual analysis or seeking of specifics may sometimes prove too tiresome. Whereas poetry can provide a more abstract but yet effective route to greater self awareness.  I frequently suggest using my poems as EFT tapping scripts as this has the dual advantage of surfacing the challenge more completely while concurrently harmonizing the energies.

The following is an example of how not only our own experiences, but also a thread of collective imprinting may be affecting us as individuals, and how poetry can help us to heal.

One night, I wrote this poem out of the blues. There was no specific trigger or inspiration for me to write it.  Once it was ready, I felt like sharing it with another couple of lady friends.  One of them happens to be an alternative healing practitioner.  The next morning, as she listened to her new client describing her life, she felt called to read this poem to her.  The woman heard it and burst into cathartic tears.  She felt it resonated deeply with her own string of heartbreaks.  Subsequently, the suggested clearing(below) was also shared with her and she left the session feeling heard, understood and much lighter.  After I heard of this I shared it with a few other women and received similar responses.  It may not be universally applicable, but as I feel it may strike a chord for a lot of women, sharing the poem below.

The suggestion is to read it slowly and allow any emotion that wells up to show up.  You can (a) use EFT, (b) simply breathe and release it all with your intention to do so, or use the (c) clearing process given below the poem to help in this. If you feel the need, repeat your chosen way a few times, until ‘waiting‘ no longer carries any sticky, emotional charge for you.

If you find any of this helpful, please share it with other women.
May we all be released from our past and future obsessions, finding peace in the present.

He turned and left.
A little bit of her died
For the sailor
Never returned as promised
By the changing tide.

For right since the days
Of the hunter setting out for food
And the priest marching
To an inner guide

Right from the days when kings ruled
To the corporate whiz today
Eternally on board a flight

The woman has been left waiting
Praying, doubting, not only his return
But his will; her goodness, her worth
All this she has to decide…

For loneliness and or abandonment
Has a strange way
Of making the strongest one question
Whether they were seen. recognized.

If who they are is remembered
Valued and celebrated
Even if it be in the quiet.

These same scars
Of our grandmothers and aunts
Inscribed upon our souls
Tears, heart break, grief and despair
All the consequences of
The tremulous hope

The aging, the waning,
The softening, the hardening,
The breaking apart and coming together again

All the wounds of being the one
Society dictated must wait:
She waits till the end

The fear of loss, of separation
Seemingly a honour badge
To be emblazoned on her chest
For the man the adventures had:

Allowed to seek out his quest
Whether it be for himself or her
His parents, brothers or kids
Whether it be for money or fame
Conquering, God or justice
Whether it be his whim or urge,
His souls purpose
Or a demand from the clan
Whether it be for reasons selfish
Or beyond the understanding of mortal man

By and large
In every age
The woman holds the vigil

Awaiting the return
Of her life, love and faith
For all of them have been gambled

No half-hearted attempts for her
No playing safe
Nothing withheld, nothing denied
She poured it all away

Without life’s grace and blessings
These wounds, this pain.
These sorry conclusions
Of guilt, unworthiness and shame:

On her genes
In her very bones
Etched remain

Until she finally wakes up
From this collective dream
And her Self reclaims.

Suggested Clearing Process

1. Sit upright with the spine straight.

2. Run your attention quickly up the center of your spine and read each of the following with every such ‘sweep’:

  • Align to wholeness now.
  • All the events, circumstances, significant events, conditioning, inherited emotions traumas, dramas, cellular memories, auric imprints and future programs that contribute to, solidify, densify and make real the archetype of the waiting or abandoned woman, release, dissolve and let go from the origins and across all time space dimensions now.
  • Disentangle from this archetype morphic field now.
  • Disentangle all residues and fixed points of views around this now.
  • Align to your own energies now
  • Repair energy field now
  • Align to wholeness now.

3.  Stay still for a few minutes, silently noticing the shift in your mind, body and energies.

Photo Credit:  Tanushree Vaidya (all rights reserved)

An EFT Script for Women

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Superwoman – Would you be willing to hang up your cape?” outlines some of the more common challenges that the modern woman faces.  I suggest some Access Consciousness tools in that post, and Aditi Surti was kind enough to add in some more on the same subject.

While awareness in itself can prove a decisive role in freeing us from our trapped emotions and limiting beliefs, I have found that powerful clearing tools like EFT, TAT, Access Consciousness, Now Healing, Emotion Code and so many others, can prove invaluable in accelerating the process of awakening to our true freedom.

I recently wrote an EFT script for a wonderful lady who was struggling with finding balance in her various roles.  Despite her achievements in her professional life, she felt she had let her family down.  Like others with the Superwoman Syndrome, she also felt uncomfortable with her own femininity.  While this script was written to address these two particular issues, I sensed that this was a useful script and could be relevant to many women out there.  Hence, I am sharing the same below.  You can personalize the script with any modifications that may be required, but I am quite confident that it will resonate with many of you as it is.

Unlike my other EFT scripts, which tend to rhyme, this one does not.  However, this script came out as a combination of various, intensive clearing statements that draw on my extensive experience with numerous modalities.  My client’s feedback confirmed that it helped her significantly and I hope it benefits others as well.

Please tap in a couple of rounds everyday on this script, for a week or until you feel complete.

Every healthy, well adjusted woman can be a pillar of strength not only to her family, but also to her community.  Whether you are a man or a woman reading this, if you can perceive the need and usefulness of this script, I earnestly request you to share it with others. When we support a woman’s return to wholeness, we support the healing of us all.

The following assumes that you are familiar with Emotional Freedom Techniques.   You can refer to the one pager to get started and if you find it useful, you can always find more material on the net.  For a more thorough understanding, you may want to get hold of my book ‘Emotional Freedom Techniques’.

(For a Marathi version of this script, please click here.)

Drink a glass of water and start tapping:

Karate Chop    Even though I have limited myself by believing that I can Either enjoy being a woman Or be a good (daughter/partner/sister/mother), I forgive myself

Karate Chop    Even though I have limited my reality by choosing an Either/Or paradigm, I can let it go now

Karate Chop     Even though I have been blocking my future by focusing on the past, I choose to see afresh now

Eyebrow     All the ways in which I have convinced myself that I cannot be both

Side of the eye     All the past experience, associations and accumulations of having let (parents/partner/sibling/child) down

Under the eye     All the guilt, fear, anxiety and concern over failing to be a good (daughter/partner/sister/mother)

Under the nose   All the cellular memories, auric imprints and future programs

Chin   That keep me locked in the paradigm of Either/Or

Collarbone   I release, uncreate, delete and destroy from all time and space now

Under the arm    I revoke and cancel all oaths, contracts, vows and agreements

Top of the head   That I have made with myself or any other around any of this

Karate Chop   All the conclusions, consequences, patterns and limiting beliefs that I have around being a woman

Karate Chop   All the ways in which I judge myself, block myself and disallow the natural flow of being

Karate Chop   All the habitual ways of punishing, limiting and demeaning myself, I uncreate, delete and destroy now, across all time, space and dimensions

Eyebrow   All the conditioning

Side of the eye   Beliefs, trapped emotions, ‘shoulds’, ‘coulds’ and ‘musts’ around being a woman

Under the eye   that I have inherited from ancestors or descendants, siblings, collective, entities, identification or conditioning

Under the nose   That prevent me from embracing my womanhood gracefully

Chin    That prevent me from honoring my own emotional, physical and spiritual needs

Collarbone   I uncreate, delete and destroy now

Under the arm  I allow myself to see, know and embody a new paradigm now

Top of the head  I choose the possibility of And now – that I can be a happy, healthy woman AND a responsive (daughter/partner/sister/mother) at the same time now

Karate Chop   All the ways in which I have concluded that I need to be unhappy for others to be happy,

Karate Chop   All the ways in which I have concluded that I need to be sick for others (parents/partner/sibling/child) to be well,

Karate Chop   All the ways in which I have bought into the ‘Martydom’ morphic field, I uncreate delete, destroy and disentangle from right now

Eyebrow   I forgive myself for sacrificing myself

Side of the eye   I forgive myself for neglecting myself,

Under the eye  I forgive myself for punishing myself

Under the nose   I forgive myself for believing I could sustain this in the long run

Chin   I forgive myself for choosing sickness, unhappiness and limitations for myself

Collarbone   I remind myself that I am worthy of love

Under the arm   I allow myself to love and be loved

Top of the head   I reclaim my wholeness now.

Take a deep breath.  Release.  Notice how you feel.

Would be more than happy to hear your feedback.

Image Kind Courtesy:  Marylou Falstreau (All rights reserved)

Superwoman – Would You Be Willing To Hang Up Your Cape?

super_mom_mug

While we may be infinite beings having a human experience, this does not bestow upon us the legendary superpowers we seem to expect of ourselves.

Superwoman Syndrome is a term I have coined to describe the unending attempt of women determined to be the ‘perfect woman-homemaker-career woman- (personal preference)’ all rolled into one.  This is often attempted at the cost of ignoring their personal care, desires, hopes, dreams and aspirations, and in defiance of all limitations of physical energy, time and other resources.

Below are some consequent emotional scars that the modern woman carries.  While all of them may not apply to you (or the ladies in your life), perhaps several of them will.

  1. Guilt:  It is stunning to see the extent to which women hold themselves responsible for the state of lives of people around them.  Deeply conditioned to believe that they must be the ‘perfect’ daughter, sister, partner, mother and so on…, no one pauses to question what this ‘perfect’ tag means and whether it holds any basis in reality.  Most of it is cultural conditioning, judgments and highly optimistic expectations that are inculcated by our television serials, movies and local gossip circles.  You can do your best, but you can’t live other’s lives for them.  Nor can you satisfy external expectations.
  2. Resentment:  Many women feel taken for granted and unappreciated. Because they have given themselves the lowest priority in their own life, they have more or less invited others into doing the same.  But not recognizing this, there can be conscious or unconscious hope and desire to be acknowledged and since this does not happen, simmering under the surface is resentment.  It becomes doubly hard to deal with, because a part of themselves also tends to judge themselves for feeling this resentment.  After all, the ‘perfect woman’ tag often closely resembles a door-mat – all in the name of unconditional love.
  3. Personal Disappointment:  Despite any achievements or satisfaction on one front, it is not unusual for them to feel that some talent or ability has been wasted, suppressed, or neglected.  So the homemaker feels she had the potential for a great career and the career woman regrets insufficient exploration of homemaking/relationships/hobbies/talents/etc..  The one who tries to juggle both often feels that she could not do justice to either side of herself.
  4. Not Good Enough: Not good looking enough, not fair enough, not thin enough, not smart enough… There seems to be no end to the ways in which a woman can judge herself.  Again, media and community would have you believe in unrealistic facades that are manufactured and bear no semblance to reality.
  5. Unease With Femininity:  So while the last point describes the pressures of external appearance, the softer qualities of caring, kindness, vulnerability, sensitivity are also a point of contention.  In work lives, it is not uncommon for women to be aggressive and feel these qualities are a handicap to be overcome.  In their struggle to compete with the men, some of them actually begin to reject such natural qualities. On the other hand, the homemaker can feel trapped by the limitations of ‘traditional’ views and opinions about women and hence be upset about their own gender.  Unfortunately, even in our so called educated homes, it is not unusual to see gender discrimination. So the thought, “I wish I had been born a boy” can sometimes lurk in the sub-conscious.
  6. Exhaustion:  Carrying the burden of all of the above, it is only natural to find that women are burning the candle at both ends. Making little time for self care and soul nourishment, they continue running on a treadmill that leaves them feeling trapped or victimized.

Hence the invitation: Superwoman – Would you be willing to hang up your cape?

  • Would you be willing to review your expectations of yourself to check if they belong to you or are borrowed stories from others?
  • Would you be willing to release your image of yourself and allow yourself to be kind, accepting and realistic about who you are?
  • Would you be willing to see that your inherent qualities as a woman are actually a source of strength?
  • Would you be willing to step out of all limiting definitions and explore various ways of expressing your true self without apology?
  • Would you be willing to give your self the loving care and nourishment that you so deserve?

If yes, then please sit down right now and outline three concrete steps you can take to embark on a celebrative  journey of being human.
And implement them.

(Many of the above links will take you to EFT scripts that can help you clear your emotional charge while other articles on this blog can support your return to being real, authentic and human.)

Post Script:  As those familiar with Access Consciousness may have noticed, the questions I include in my posts can easily be used for clearings with the help of the Access Clearing Statement.  As I discussed this intent with my friend and Access Bars Facilitator Aditi Surti, she suggested some additional questions.  She has kindly allowed me to share them here:

  • Where are you cutting off your own awareness of what being a truly woman means and instead choosing to align with, agree with and buy into meaningless points of view from others about it?
  • Everywhere that you have bought into the point of view that something like perfection exists, would you be willing to destroy and uncreate it?
  • All across lifetimes, including this one, everywhere you choose to destroy aspects of yourself in order to be perfect, would you now instead choose to BE YOU, in total allowance of everything you are, in total love with who you are and being that, contribute more in the world and truly change the world?
  • Where have you bought the story that being guilty means you can do things better, get approval and appreciation and love? Everywhere you have done that, will you now destroy and uncreate it?

Image Source: Cafepress