Poems: Bridging The Illusory Divide

Vondelpark - Tanushree Vaidya Photography

Love is unconditional.
It has no beginning, nor end.
It cannot be switched on or off
Much as one may pretend.

Relationships are a different thing
There is a ‘you’, and ‘me’, and a ‘we’ there
Either bridges are built together,
Then sustained with attentive care,

Or to neglected ruin they fall
Unable to accommodate
Conflicting needs and wants,
Routine wear and tear

To confuse the two
Is to err
Love is synonymous with being
Flow, a background that is just there

To ground it in the day to day living together
One has to become present, responsive, aware,
Remembering the choices, actions
Each individuated self makes
Affects the collective space we share

If and when one can see
There is no other, only me
Contrasts and similarities appear and resolve,
Morphing, integrating rhythmically

But relating to these mirror selves
Is something learned slowly, gradually
Until then, the road ahead
Is best navigated pragmatically

Photo Credit:  Tanushree Vaidya (all rights reserved)

Beyond Drama

Victim, Villain, Hero, Sage.
Captivating roles that keep us engaged.

What would it be like to see the long repeating patterns in our relationships in a different light?

What would it be like to be free of these old, habitual stories and their consequent drama and trauma?

I shared the poem below on Facebook a few days back and it struck a chord with many of the readers. Based on their response, I feel that tapping it in with EFT may be helpful, in resigning from any dramatic roles one may have auditioned or signed up for, and choosing freedom instead.

We seek the exact match
To the frequency we want to keep alive
Or the frequency that we thought
Has us defined

So the doormat finds the feet
The savior the weak
The conman his mark
And the blessed,
Angels in human form

Examine your contracts and vows
Neutralize descriptions and names
Tear up the terms and conditions
Invite the other to do the same

We don’t have to perpetuate our illusions
Let’s wipe the slate clean
Release each other
From the roles we offer and keep

There is no need
For either to suffer more
Guilt, blame, pain or shame
Erase this habitual pattern and story
Let us our freedom reclaim

Synchronistically, I came across this beautiful song on WordPress.  Thanks to Monica Cassani for posting it at Beyond Meds:

Related EFT Tapping Scripts:

Resigning From Playing Villain
Stepping Out of the Cage

A Powerful Centering Tool

flickr/kalexanderson

“All the ways in which you are choosing

Shallow over Meaningful
Pretence over Authenticity
Conformity over Creativity
Habit over Presence
Denial over Awareness
Repression over Expression
Approval over Self-acceptance
Incompletion over Wholeness
Fear over Love
Past over Present
Fantasy over Reality
Stagnation over Change
Familiarity over Flow
Resignation over Acceptance
Seeking over Remembering
Procrastinating over Living Fully Now…

Would you be willing to uncreate, delete and destroy across all time, space and dimensions right now?”

You can use the above in any or all of the following ways:

  1. Use along with the Access Consciousness Clearing Statement. For an audio recording that you can loop, click here.
  2. Tap along the EFT points as you read or listen to these words.
  3. Contemplate these statements and note the thoughts, images and sensations that arise without judgment.

In all cases, be open to allowing your insights and inner guidance to show up and then take suitable actions where ever required.

As always, the request is to share your experience and if you find this useful, please share it with friends and family.  Thank you!

Image Credit: Flickr/Kalexanderson (Creative Commons License) 

4th Blog Anniversary – List of Select Posts

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The intent of this blog, my books and FB posts is to give back.  Like everyone else, I have had my fair share of tough patches.  While I have been fortunate to have family and friends support me through such times, there are a vast number of people out there who remain anonymous.  Anonymous not because their name was not on the article, or book, FB update or message board.  But because their only emphasis was on the content they provided.  

Our point of contact was not a long term association, but a single instance that delivered to me exactly what I needed in that moment.  Then they blended back into the generous ocean of the internet, leaving ripples of relief in their wake.  The dedication and quality of information (in every sphere of life) that can be found on the web is humbling.  The ability of some people to give of themselves, inspiring.  In the modern world of social media, many prefer to watch silently from the sidelines, or find it easier to criticize than support. But there are also those who pro-actively offer what they can from their heart.

So while I pray my thanks and blessings for such people, I feel the need to pay it forward through my writing.  To share of myself and my learnings as authentically as I can.  In the hope that something that someone needs to hear today – reaches them through me.

My 117 posts  thus far have been fueled by this intent. While the search box can help, I am using the opportunity of today’s fourth blog anniversary to gather together some of the posts that seem to have been considered particularly useful or informative.  EFT Scripts have not been listed below as I have added a tab to the top menu for the same.  Please remember that my Poems here and on the FB timeline can also be used for tapping.  I invite you to bookmark this page for ease of navigation to these articles, as and when required. If you like what you find here, you are most welcome to subscribe to the blog and share it with others.

Last but not the least, Thank You to those who read, like, comment and share my writings. You encourage me to keep on!

Below are links to select articles on:

  • Processes
  • Authenticity
  • Relationships
  • Multiple Resources

Processes

  1. A 5 Minute Exercise to Reclaim Peace
  2. Contemplating the Stars
  3. The New Beginnings – Daily Meditation (with GD)
  4. 9 Buffet Tips That Can Be Applied To Life
  5. The Pause Diet For Joy and Peace

Authenticity

  1. Are You Singing Your Own Song Or Dancing To Another Tune?
  2. 9 Tips To Reinventing Yourself
  3. Unpeeling Our Labels
  4. Point of No Return
  5. Great Expectations
  6. Beyond All Excuses
  7. Home is Where The Heart Is
  8. Lifelines and Why We Cut Them Off
  9. ‘You Are Here’ – Mapping Your Way Forward
  10. Through The Looking Glass – Seeing Beyond the Image

Relationships

  1. 4 Cues To Transform Your Relationships
  2. Blinded By Familiarity
  3. Going Further With The 4 Agreements
  4. Superwoman – Would You Be Willing To Hang Up Your Cape?
  5. Speak Up

Multiple Resources

  1. Are You An Earth Sensitive? and Why You Need to Know
  2. Tools For Empaths
  3. 11 Ways to Address Helplessness
  4. 11 Ways to Be Present to Another’s Vulnerability
  5. What Do You Need To Unlearn Today?

 

 

A 5 Minute Exercise To Reclaim Peace

Tanushree Vaidya Photography

Healing is a return to wholeness, an experiential understanding of our expansive nature.  To become one with this present moment, without any resistance, can be a deeply restorative process.

Here is a simple, effective and powerful energy exercise that can bring you immense peace and lightness in less than a couple of minutes.  Do keep time to rest in the spaciousness that ensues.

We will be using NOW healing for this, which requires us to focus attention on the ‘centre’. To learn about NOW healing and the ‘centre’ in greater detail, click here. For the purpose of this exercise, it is sufficient to follow these instructions:
“Center“: Place your attention at the base of your spine, and then sweep your awareness quickly up the middle of your body, and out the top of your head, expanding upwards and outwards, in not more than 2 seconds.  Don’t think or concentrate too much, just do it quickly and lightly.

To “Enter the command, mentally say the command while sweeping your attention up the centre, as described above.

Return to Peace

1. Sit straight and relaxed with your eyes closed.
2. Take your attention to your ‘Centre’ and ‘enter’ the following commands (one sweep up the centre for each one):
  • Align to wholeness Now
  • Align to your own energies Now
  • Disentangle from all external noises, distractions and interference Now
  • Disentangle from all internal noises, distraction and interference Now
  • Disentangle from all trauma and drama from the past Now
  • Disentangle from all peak experiences and attachments to the past Now
  • Disentangle from all fears and anxieties related to the future Now
  • Disentangle from all the hopes and demands related to the future Now
  • Disentangle from all resistance and denial of what is here and Now
  • Align to joy, ease and peace in the presence or absence of whatever is present now
  • Repair energy field Now
  • Reintegrate now
    ( You may want to read aloud and record the above for ease of use.)

3.  Breathe in deeply and remain seated for as long as you feel the need to.

Do you feel a sparkling stillness?  Please share your experiences in comments below.

And if you found this exercise useful, please do share widely with others.  Thank you!
Update on 13/09/14
 
My friend, Nithya Shanti  offers many of his spiritual talks and guided meditations on Soundcloud.  He has helpfully added an audio recording of this exercise to his offerings. You can listen to this track at https://soundcloud.com/nithya-shanti/now-healing
(I recommend exploring his other audios as well!)
Image Credit:  Tanushree Vaidya (all rights reserved)

4 Cues To Transform Your Relationships

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Have you ever had an insight that made you re-examine a past conversation in a radically new way?  That made you think, “If I had known this before, I would have behaved differently”?

Transparent, clear communication is often difficult to achieve.  Being able to state our thoughts, feelings, intent and requests candidly, with neither arrogance nor apology is an art we all continue to learn with experience.

It is human nature to desire connection.  The irony is that it is a sense of ‘self’ that seeks to meet another, but the more we are locked in the perspective of this ‘self’, the greater the separation from ‘another’.  So how does one move out of one’s own limited point of view and see things from a fresh angle in the present moment?  Here are 4 re-minder questions and their corresponding cues.  By using these single word prompts, we can halt the agitated train of thoughts and instantly open up new ways of connecting.

1. How am I seeing this and why?
Cue: Breathe
With this we intentionally develop a greater degree of self-awareness.  Being conscious minimizes our own contribution to any misunderstandings. Imagining that you are breathing in and out of your heart helps establish heart coherence.  As we all respond to not only the words, tone and body language, but also to the energies of the other person, heart coherence can play a pivotal role in inviting a healthy, open dialogue.

2. How is the other perceiving this and why?
Cue: Translate
Next we look to notice what’s happening with the other person. We have all experienced how inner conflict and or acute emotions can cloud our communication abilities.  For example we can sound angry when we are fearful and appear aloof when we are hurt. There is possibly an underlying need or request from the other that we may be missing. We tend to take things personally and react to that. But in reality, the other person’s health, wellbeing, history, conditioning and so many other factors are at play. Besides, the same words can hold a different memory, meaning or emotional charge for each of us.  (Eg.:  A  teenager may use slang casually, but an elder may take it as a deliberate insult.)  Instead of letting the apparent distract you, look for the less obvious.  “Translate” is thus a useful reminder to look to understand what the other is actually trying to convey. I call it ‘a magical spell’ because it miraculously transforms my stance to a more open, flexible and compassionate state.

How to activate this cue for yourself:

Essentially, we create an anchor/auditory command to instantly re-mind ourselves. For some, simply reading this and setting the intent will be enough. 
Or you can use the Karate Chop point (from EFT) as it helps us memorize things more easily:  So tapping on the side of your hand, say aloud: “When I use ‘Translate’, I remember not to take this personally; to notice and acknowledge the other’s perspective, feelings and underlying intent without judgment, to receive this information and respond with as much wisdom and kindness as I can.”  Repeat this 3 times.

Now the next time you find yourself in a trying situation, all you need to do is take a deep breath and internally say, “Translate!”   This is a wonderfully simple, effective way to immediately experience a whole new dynamic.  It raises the vibe of the interaction from between the personas’(more convoluted) viewpoint to that between the ‘higher selves’, or those parts of us with higher wisdom and awareness.

3.How can I see this differently?
Cue: Reframe
‘Breathe’ and ‘Translate’ enable us to understand the current event and all concerned better.  Where a single conclusion had been drawn before, other explanations become more plausible now.  With ‘Reframe’, we deliberately choose to rewrite the ‘story’ we have around the relationship or recurring behaviors in a way that highlights aspects we may have missed before. For eg.  Instead of the story, ‘she always pulls me down, she is jealous of my success’ you may find yourself reviewing your friend’s consistent ‘criticism’ as ‘she is so protective and supportive, trying to help me be my best’.  Or, ‘her criticism has been remarkable for my growing attention to detail’. Deliberately seeking different understanding changes our response and new possibilities open up, where none may have been viable before.  Hence, ‘Reframe’ in itself can be quite transformational. 

However, we can take this to a breakthrough level by invoking prayer:  Grace is enabled by the acknowledgment of the divine.  I personally believe that sacred relationships always involve a third element, a higher presence if you will.  And the next question is based on this premise. 

This question and cue emerged in conversation with my wise friend, Erica Taraporevala (another practitioner of mindfulness).  Several synchronicities led us to discuss Lesson 130 from ‘A Course In Miracles (ACIM)’, which states: “It is impossible to see two worlds.” 

The Lesson explains:

What you see reflects your thinking. And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see.

Fear has made everything you think you see. All separation, all distinctions, and the multitude of differences you believe make up the world. They are not there.

Begin your searching for the other world by asking for a strength beyond your own, and recognizing what it is you seek. You do not want illusions.”* 

We surmised that the lesson asks us to look at the personal stories we have created around our experience and to re-interpret them from a far more universal, timeless understanding:  To see from a place of truth, love and acceptance, rather than illusion, fear and resistance.

It was also obvious to us that it can be difficult to see beyond the veils of our persistent story. However, Erica and I like to apply teachings that appeal to us in the context of our daily lives.  So when I shared my previous 3 cues with her, she wondered if we could experiment with another anchor, as we do with ‘Translate’.  This time, bearing in mind the quotes given above, the prayerful intent of the cue would be to “Re-interpret the happenings and the story in the outer world in a way that I be aware of what Source is pointing towards.”  (You can replace Source with God, Holy Spirit, or Universe as per your belief system.)

For all our profound discussions, the two of us do retain a sense of humor and playfulness.  As Erica is concurrently immersed in a happy reading of Harry Potter, she said it would sound more fun in Latin.  And so ‘Interpretantur’ was chosen as our new ‘spell’.  Consequently, the question and cue:

4. How does Source view this and what can I learn from that?
Cue: Interpretantur
First set up the command as described for ‘Translate’.  Once you have re-minded yourself to ‘Breathe’, you can try to ‘Translate’ and ‘Reframe’, or directly say ‘Interpretantur’ in your mind.  Some who have tried this are amazed at the changes that ensue.  It is like the beautiful revelation in a kaleidoscope pattern brought about by a gentle movement in our holding position.

Here is one example:  A friend, say M, has had a troubled relationship with her mother.  For years, she felt alienated and misunderstood.  But life being the way it is, she is caring for her in her old age, while the other children are only occasional visitors.  When a recent visit from a sister triggered the inner child’s frustration and anger, M first breathed consciously to control her outburst.  She then went straight to ‘Interpretantur’.

She reports that she felt an instantaneous shift. From finding the situation hopeless and unfair, she suddenly thought, “In my childhood, my mother was a different person.  She was grappling with her own emotions, conditions.  She saw me as a potentially disruptive influence on her other children and did what she had to out of her fear.  Today she has grown, as have I.  Because I was left alone for so long, I could explore more, become stronger and more independent.  By being  brought together now, we have been able to understand and know each other far better than was possible then.  This situation is not an imposition but a blessing.”  She added, “It is one thing to describe these things intellectually.  But ‘Interpretantur’ got me to know it, in one miraculous moment.  Amazing.”

As in prayer, the intent and usage infuse the cues with energy.  A common understanding or agreement on what they mean to us strengthens their efficacy.  As more accounts of such epiphanies came about, we decided to share this publicly.  We invite you to try the cues for yourself and write in with your experience.  And if you found this article useful, please share it with others.  Wouldn’t we all enjoy a world with kinder and clearer communication?

 

John Lubbock quote

*Additional Note:  A related section, Chapter 5 (ACIM) on healing and wholeness says,“1. The ego made the world as it perceives it, but the Holy Spirit, the re-interpreter of what the ego made, sees the world as a teaching device for bringing you home. 2. The Holy Spirit must perceive time, and reinterpret it into the timeless. 3. He must work through opposites, because He must work with and for a mind that is in opposition. 4. Correct and learn, and be open to learning. 5. You have not made truth, but truth can still set you free. 6. Look as the Holy Spirit looks, and understand as He understands.”