An EFT Script for Women

“Superwoman – Would you be willing to hang up your cape?” outlines some of the more common challenges that the modern woman faces.  I suggest some Access Consciousness tools in that post, and Aditi Surti was kind enough to add in some more on the same subject.

While awareness in itself can prove a decisive role in freeing us from our trapped emotions and limiting beliefs, I have found that powerful clearing tools like EFT, TAT, Access Consciousness, Now Healing, Emotion Code and so many others, can prove invaluable in accelerating the process of awakening to our true freedom.

I recently wrote an EFT script for a wonderful lady who was struggling with finding balance in her various roles.  Despite her achievements in her professional life, she felt she had let her family down.  Like others with the Superwoman Syndrome, she also felt uncomfortable with her own femininity.  While this script was written to address these two particular issues, I sensed that this was a useful script and could be relevant to many women out there.  Hence, I am sharing the same below.  You can personalize the script with any modifications that may be required, but I am quite confident that it will resonate with many of you as it is.

Unlike my other EFT scripts, which tend to rhyme, this one does not.  However, this script came out as a combination of various, intensive clearing statements that draw on my extensive experience with numerous modalities.  My client’s feedback confirmed that it helped her significantly and I hope it benefits others as well.

Please tap in a couple of rounds everyday on this script, for a week or until you feel complete.

Every healthy, well adjusted woman can be a pillar of strength not only to her family, but also to her community.  Whether you are a man or a woman reading this, if you can perceive the need and usefulness of this script, I earnestly request you to share it with others. When we support a woman’s return to wholeness, we support the healing of us all.

The following assumes that you are familiar with Emotional Freedom Techniques.   You can refer to the one pager to get started and if you find it useful, you can always find more material on the net.  For a more thorough understanding, you may want to get hold of my book ‘Emotional Freedom Techniques’.

Drink a glass of water and start tapping:

Karate Chop    Even though I have limited myself by believing that I can Either enjoy being a woman Or be a good (daughter/partner/sister/mother), I forgive myself

Karate Chop    Even though I have limited my reality by choosing an Either/Or paradigm, I can let it go now

Karate Chop     Even though I have been blocking my future by focusing on the past, I choose to see afresh now

Eyebrow     All the ways in which I have convinced myself that I cannot be both

Side of the eye     All the past experience, associations and accumulations of having let (parents/partner/sibling/child) down

Under the eye     All the guilt, fear, anxiety and concern over failing to be a good (daughter/partner/sister/mother)

Under the nose   All the cellular memories, auric imprints and future programs

Chin   That keep me locked in the paradigm of Either/Or

Collarbone   I release, uncreate, delete and destroy from all time and space now

Under the arm    I revoke and cancel all oaths, contracts, vows and agreements

Top of the head   That I have made with myself or any other around any of this

Karate Chop   All the conclusions, consequences, patterns and limiting beliefs that I have around being a woman

Karate Chop   All the ways in which I judge myself, block myself and disallow the natural flow of being

Karate Chop   All the habitual ways of punishing, limiting and demeaning myself, I uncreate, delete and destroy now, across all time, space and dimensions

Eyebrow   All the conditioning

Side of the eye   Beliefs, trapped emotions, ‘shoulds’, ‘coulds’ and ‘musts’ around being a woman

Under the eye   that I have inherited from ancestors or descendants, siblings, collective, entities, identification or conditioning

Under the nose   That prevent me from embracing my womanhood gracefully

Chin    That prevent me from honoring my own emotional, physical and spiritual needs

Collarbone   I uncreate, delete and destroy now

Under the arm  I allow myself to see, know and embody a new paradigm now

Top of the head  I choose the possibility of And now – that I can be a happy, healthy woman AND a responsive (daughter/partner/sister/mother) at the same time now

Karate Chop   All the ways in which I have concluded that I need to be unhappy for others to be happy,

Karate Chop   All the ways in which I have concluded that I need to be sick for others (parents/partner/sibling/child) to be well,

Karate Chop   All the ways in which I have bought into the ‘Martydom’ morphic field, I uncreate delete, destroy and disentangle from right now

Eyebrow   I forgive myself for sacrificing myself

Side of the eye   I forgive myself for neglecting myself,

Under the eye  I forgive myself for punishing myself

Under the nose   I forgive myself for believing I could sustain this in the long run

Chin   I forgive myself for choosing sickness, unhappiness and limitations for myself

Collarbone   I remind myself that I am worthy of love

Under the arm   I allow myself to love and be loved

Top of the head   I reclaim my wholeness now.

Take a deep breath.  Release.  Notice how you feel.

Would be more than happy to hear your feedback.

Image Kind Courtesy:  Marylou Falstreau (All rights reserved)

Going further with The Four Agreements

Don Miguel Ruiz‘s book “The Four Agreements” is a compact text full of practical wisdom that can transform our lives.  I often recommend it as a resource to those wishing to lead a conscious life. Don Miguel Ruiz subsequently added a single “Fifth Agreement” and wrote a separate book on that as well.

Here, I simply list the Agreements and then share some reflections around them:

The Four Agreements

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Don’t Take It Personally.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best ( and know it will change from time to time)

The Fifth Agreement

Be Skeptical, But Learn To Listen

While the above are quite self explanatory in themselves, Don Miguel Ruiz’s teachings bring out the nuances and are astute pointers as to how unconscious we usually are and how much we function from the past.  The Agreements provide useful guidelines on how to conduct ourselves and how we can better receive the world.  For those interested in better understanding and applying them as intended by the author, please see his books.

Here, I would like to extend their application.
I believe they also imply how we can be sensitive to where others are coming from.  As we attempt to implement the Agreements with reference to ourselves on a consistent basis, it is easy to see that old patterns can be challenging to break.  So it is helpful and sensible to remember that the person in front of us may also be struggling with their own challenges.

Below are some suggestions as to how we can be conscious of the Agreements in context of where others are located:

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Be cognizant of the possibility that the next person may not be fully mindful.  

• Most of us often say what we don’t mean and don’t say what we do. 
• Look for their underlying intent and try to understand the space they are coming from.
• While their words may wound, they may not intend to.  So  try to forgive the person, even if the behavior cannot be condoned.

Don’t Take It Personally

Avoid making it personal

• Support what you say with data and facts.
• Whenever possible focus on the larger issue or principle, instead of making it about an individual.
• Look for the pattern or other influential causes and address those instead of initiating a blame game.
• Don’t bring in the history.  You may be relying on reactions and conclusions that were made when you were in a less mindful space.

Don’t Make Assumptions

Minimize the possibility of the other making assumptions 

• Do your part by expressing yourself as clearly as you can, in a timely manner.
• Deliberately withholding information can also lead to communication problems.
• Learning to say a clear “Yes” or “No” can go much further than ambiguity.

Always Do Your Best

Remember that the other is also doing the best he/she can 

• And their best will change from time to time, just as yours does.
• If they could do better, they would.  There is always a reason behind the apparent behavior.  While one may not know or understand it, being aware of this can help one to be more patient and compassionate.

Be Skeptical, But Learn To Listen

Don’t make it a formula

• Rigid points of view or habitual application of the best of guidelines can be counter productive.
• Being present and listening to your heart goes hand in hand with the helpfulness that broader guidelines (such as these) provide.

Would welcome your comments and if you find any of this useful, please do share it with others. 

Poems: Remember

Don’t dismiss these words

I know it is hard to take me seriously

When you feel walled up in a dark hole

It is difficult to see clearly

Under all the overwhelm, the helplessness, the pain

Who you truly are remains unchanged

A loving, luminous light in the world

Who will eventually emerge again

These are temporary clouds,

The ensnaring webs but illusory tales

That have blinded you with their ‘realistic’ ways

The troubling ties are only actors and role play

If only for a moment – step out of the story

Rest in your own space.

See what I do, feel what I say…

Reclaim your wholeness again.

 

 

Related Post

Poems: This too Shall Pass

Walking the Talk

How does one respond to the frequent headlines of violence and mayhem across the world?  While most would respond with anger, frustration, fear and other similar impotent emotions, there are others who may be righteous, or equally violent, albeit in different ways.

For those of us with an interest for looking deeper and taking responsibility for the world we  co-create,  personal encounters are a true test of all that we believe in.

While it is relatively easy to sit in a safe, peaceful home and radiate love and light to a faceless world, in daily life, even the man who cut your lane as you drove to work can trigger an aggressive response.  Imagine then, what it would be like to deal with someone who has threatened or caused harm to a loved one?  The protective instincts of a mother are probably stronger than in any other bond.  And perhaps the love and attachment is also the greatest here.

So when my dear friend, Charan Surdhar shared the following on FB, I was moved to share it here with you:

“My son’s phone was stolen from him yesterday by 3 boys that surrounded him. Later in that evening, his friend was assaulted and robbed on a train by the same boys. One of them has now been arrested and is on bail. 
I worked on my son using the Body code and released, physical trauma, and trapped emotions of shock, terror, and grief. 
Then I tuned into the boy who was arrested and checked to see if he has a heart wall (a wall made of trapped emotions around his heart that can interfere with a person being true to themselves and feeling connected to the world). He had one, and his higher self allowed me to help him release some of it. There were emotions of terror, shock and grief coming from ages 6, 7, 11, 12 etc. 
This allowed me to move into compassion for him and for young kids out there that are just playing out their own hurt.
I’m feeling grateful and know all is well….“

Charan is an exceptional healer who has chosen to practice as an energy practitioner specializing in Body Code and Emotion Code, rather than continuing as a geneticist.

I am convinced that her amazing contribution to her clients and to the world come from her being who she is.  As this incident clearly demonstrates – in the face of extreme provocation, Charan naturally and easily responded with care and compassion, not only for her own son, but also for the apparent ‘perpetrator’.

An inspiring example of what is possible, how thoughtfully we can respond and how we can be the change we want to see in the world.

It shows her sincerity in her inner work and her outer work.  Not only has she grown to address the roots of problems rather than simply deal with the superficial symptoms of the violence, but it also shows her belief in the efficacy of the energetic ‘heart wall‘ removal.

For those of us familiar with energy healing, here is an exemplary reminder of walking the talk.

For all of us, here is an invitation – to find and practice that which you believe can be a contribution to raising consciousness on the planet.

• How can we, as individuals and collectives, demonstrate compassion in action? 
• How can we be a part of the solution?
• How can we contribute towards building a society that remembers what it is like to be kind, humane?

On my part, this is one of the tiny drops that I am contributing to the ocean – seeding this story in my own and other hearts – so that we can all ripple out more waves of compassion.  Because it is the first thing I thought of, I immediately put it into action.  Because the largest temple was built one brick at a time.

And to see greater love and peace in the world, we have to bring in greater love and peace in our own little worlds.

What would happen if we all asked ourselves:

What would I have to be or do different to contribute to creating a more peaceful, loving world?

And what would happen if we acted on that answer?

If this article touches you into loving action, please share it.  Let us spread ripples of kindness together.

My heartfelt Namaste to Charan – thank you for being you and sharing this with us.

 

 

Related Articles

The Power of Caring

Return To Love

Image Source: http://quotes-lover.com/picture-quote/the-worst-prison-would-be-a-closed-heart/

Contemplating the Stars

What can be better than the cool breeze on a summer night under the starry skies?  Dazzled by the city lights, we urban dwellers forget to look up.  If you don’t have a park nearby, go to your building terrace.  And instead of looking down at the city.  Look up.

The view may not be as spectacular as when seen from places remote from the artificial lights and pollution.  Nevertheless, it is often breathtaking.

I completely agree with Bill Watterson:

“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.” ~ Calvin and Hobbes

To enhance your relaxation into a wordless state – you may like to try this:

1. Lie flat on the ground/terrace.
2. Pay attention to your breathing and allow yourself to relax.
3. Imagine as though you are being held closely by the earth and simultaneously are expanding into the open sky.
4. Let your eyes wander, taking in the moon and stars.
5. Focus on the one directly above you and make this the center of your attention.
6. Now continue to breathe in a relaxed manner.  Let your thoughts and eyes wander as they may.  Don’t move your body, but let the eyes do what they feel like.
7. You may follow a plane or two, or a shooting star if you are lucky.  Or a planet may catch your attention.  Gaze at them as long as you like.  If thoughts flow, let them.  Don’t resist.
8. Routinely, gently take your attention back to the star right above you.
9. After a few moments, your eyes may close.  Let them, but try not to fall asleep (you can save that for later).  Again take the attention back to the star above.
10. Keep relaxing and then returning attention to the star for about 15 minutes.  By the end of it, you will feel calm, relaxed and empty of thought.
11. Thank the sun, moon, stars and the earth for their beauty and healing energies.
12. Rub your hands and cover your eyes.

Rise renewed and refreshed

If you try this, do let me know how you liked the experience.  And if you enjoy it, do share it with others.

 

Image Source: Quote-lover.com

Writing – Why Bother?

As I eagerly await the cover design for my fifth book from my publisher, I am reminded of my first  book and the gumption it took to get it out there.

“It’s Your Life – A Practical Handbook for Chronic Ailments” was written from my firsthand experience as a primary caregiver for different members of my family, at different points of time.  I have spent over a month outside the general ward of a government hospital, because my brother’s brain injury did not allow him to be moved.  The year of paralysis after that.  Asthma attacks and heart attacks.   Kidney failure.  The list is long.  The experience deep and lasting.  I have interacted with patients and families from every walk of life.  From every strata of life.  That is where I learnt how to listen.  Because that is all that you can do in those situations.  To offer platitudes would be futile and insensitive.  In response to all this gut wrenching helplessness and the mind boggling challenges of navigating an often inefficient and sometimes corrupt medical world, I drew on the pragmatism instilled in me by my parents. I kept learning, testing and unlearning in the best way that I could, so that my family would receive the best support that I could muster.

As I looked around, I realized that most people were struggling in these situations.  Their emotions would cloud their ability to function rationally and many of them were overwhelmed by the dictatorial authority figures and medical jargon.  So I began jotting down my learnings in as crisp and useful a manner as I could. What was intended to be an article on a friend’s complementary healing website turned into a concise, but detailed handbook.  And I had no clue whatsoever as to what I was supposed to do with it. But as I started sharing the draft with others, the response was unanimous.  Every reader felt this book should be put out there.  How, no one knew.

But for all my noble intentions, there were practical challenges.   I have no formal background in writing or publishing.  Nor did I have any contacts in this field.  Also, I had no funds.  With my husband on dialysis, every rupee was precious and carefully monitored.  After a lot of discussion within the family, my father finally declared, “You have to do this.  Even if one person benefits, its worth the effort.” These words have guided me ever since that day.  I keep writing and sharing, with the consistent prayer that someone, somewhere, benefits.

It is not always easy.  To share personal experiences (like this one). To share openly.  There are any number of opinions that can come your way.

“Oh, you self-published?”  
“You gave it away free, is it?”  
“Isn’t it too short to be called a book?” 

And sometimes I bought into these stories – of how self publishing, or gifting the book or making it concise  - were shortcomings in some way. Despite two print runs, one translation, The Caregiver’s Manual, and the hundreds of downloads and heart warming feedback from across the world, I now marvel at how apologetically I would confess that I had written two books.  Only after “Emotional Freedom Techniques” came out thanks to Wisdom Tree, did I feel it was safe to call myself an author.  SOUL made it a little more comfortable and now I finally feel ready to release my fifth into the world.

Today, I have gotten over the step motherly treatment I have given my first two books.  I look back amazed at my dad and my husband.  I feel grateful… for the faith they placed in me.  For the printers, who refused to take payment once they read the book. For the donation from a pharmaceutical company official for the second print run.  For the cover design created and contributed by my healer friends.  For the translators who translated the book into Marathi.  For the innumerable friends, family, doctors, patients and medical social workers who took it upon themselves to reach this book to wherever they thought it was needed.  For the  feedback from readers that has frequently left me in tears.

So when someone asks me, “You know, I always wanted to write a book.  I have this idea I am working on… what do you suggest?  How do I get myself to sit down and write it?  How do I get a publisher?  What will sell better, ebooks or paperbacks?” and so on… I have no suitable reply.

But for those who ask, “How many copies have you sold?  How many Likes did you get for that article, and you must have spent hours writing it?  How many hits does your blog get?  Do you really make enough money from writing?  Why do you do it?”

For them, this is my answer.

After “It’s Your Life”, there has been no real choice in the matter.  The books, articles, poems – they write themselves and insist upon being freed into the world.  And  because the urge to honour them, to reach them wherever they are meant to go, is far greater than any resistance, excuse or inhibitions I may have – I offer them to you.

That’s why I bother to write.  And in the bargain, I have gained a little understanding of:

“Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana“ ~ Krishna, Bhagwat Geeta
(Do your duty and be detached from its outcome, do not be driven by the end product, enjoy the process of getting there.)

Superwoman – Would You Be Willing To Hang Up Your Cape?

While we may be infinite beings having a human experience, this does not bestow upon us the legendary superpowers we seem to expect of ourselves.

Superwoman Syndrome is a term I have coined to describe the unending attempt of women determined to be the ‘perfect woman-homemaker-career woman- (personal preference)’ all rolled into one.  This is often attempted at the cost of ignoring their personal care, desires, hopes, dreams and aspirations, and in defiance of all limitations of physical energy, time and other resources.

Below are some consequent emotional scars that the modern woman carries.  While all of them may not apply to you (or the ladies in your life), perhaps several of them will.

1. Guilt:  It is stunning to see the extent to which women hold themselves responsible for the state of lives of people around them.  Deeply conditioned to believe that they must be the ‘perfect’ daughter, sister, partner, mother and so on…, no one pauses to question what this ‘perfect’ tag means and whether it holds any basis in reality.  Most of it is cultural conditioning, judgments and highly optimistic expectations that are inculcated by our television serials, movies and local gossip circles.  You can do your best, but you can’t live other’s lives for them.  Nor can you satisfy external expectations.
   
2. Resentment:  Many women feel taken for granted and unappreciated. Because they have given themselves the lowest priority in their own life, they have more or less invited others into doing the same.  But not recognizing this, there can be conscious or unconscious hope and desire to be acknowledged and since this does not happen, simmering under the surface is resentment.  It becomes doubly hard to deal with, because a part of themselves also tends to judge themselves for feeling this resentment.  After all, the ‘perfect woman’ tag often closely resembles a door-mat – all in the name of unconditional love.
3. Personal Disappointment:  Despite any achievements or satisfaction on one front, it is not unusual for them to feel that some talent or ability has been wasted, suppressed, or neglected.  So the homemaker feels she had the potential for a great career and the career woman regrets insufficient exploration of homemaking/relationships/hobbies/talents/etc..  The one who tries to juggle both often feels that she could not do justice to either side of herself.
4. Not Good Enough: Not good looking enough, not fair enough, not thin enough, not smart enough… There seems to be no end to the ways in which a woman can judge herself.  Again, media and community would have you believe in unrealistic facades that are manufactured and bear no semblance to reality.
5. Unease With Femininity:  So while the last point describes the pressures of external appearance, the softer qualities of caring, kindness, vulnerability, sensitivity are also a point of contention.  In work lives, it is not uncommon for women to be aggressive and feel these qualities are a handicap to be overcome.  In their struggle to compete with the men, some of them actually begin to reject such natural qualities. On the other hand, the homemaker can feel trapped by the limitations of ‘traditional’ views and opinions about women and hence be upset about their own gender.  Unfortunately, even in our so called educated homes, it is not unusual to see gender discrimination. So the thought, “I wish I had been born a boy” can sometimes lurk in the sub-conscious.
6. Exhaustion:  Carrying the burden of all of the above, it is only natural to find that women are burning the candle at both ends. Making little time for self care and soul nourishment, they continue running on a treadmill that leaves them feeling trapped or victimized.

Hence the invitation: Superwoman – Would you be willing to hang up your cape?

• Would you be willing to review your expectations of yourself to check if they belong to you or are borrowed stories from others?
• Would you be willing to release your image of yourself and allow yourself to be kind, accepting and realistic about who you are?
• Would you be willing to see that your inherent qualities as a woman are actually a source of strength?
• Would you be willing to step out of all limiting definitions and explore various ways of expressing your true self without apology?
• Would you be willing to give your self the loving care and nourishment that you so deserve?

If yes, then please sit down right now and outline three concrete steps you can take to embark on a celebrative  journey of being human.
And implement them.

(Many of the above links will take you to EFT scripts that can help you clear your emotional charge while other articles on this blog can support your return to being real, authentic and human.)

Post Script:  As those familiar with Access Consciousness may have noticed, the questions I include in my posts can easily be used for clearings with the help of the Access Clearing Statement.  As I discussed this intent with my friend and Access Bars Facilitator Aditi Surti, she suggested some additional questions.  She has kindly allowed me to share them here:

• Where are you cutting off your own awareness of what being a truly woman means and instead choosing to align with, agree with and buy into meaningless points of view from others about it?
• Everywhere that you have bought into the point of view that something like perfection exists, would you be willing to destroy and uncreate it?
• All across lifetimes, including this one, everywhere you choose to destroy aspects of yourself in order to be perfect, would you now instead choose to BE YOU, in total allowance of everything you are, in total love with who you are and being that, contribute more in the world and truly change the world?
• Where have you bought the story that being guilty means you can do things better, get approval and appreciation and love? Everywhere you have done that, will you now destroy and uncreate it?

Image Source: Cafepress