Our suffering is directly proportional to our resistance to the way things currently stand. The troubling conclusion that no breakthrough is possible is often erroneous. The truth is that the available options may not be palatable to us. For the way forward may require us to change ourselves, our point of view and our habitual choices. And sometimes we are simply unwilling to do so.
Denial, avoidance, and or procrastination not only display our ongoing argument with whatever is present, but also clearly indicate our refusal to see, be and act differently.
The common, costly self-deception is the labeling of our resignation as ‘acceptance’, and our abdication of responsibility as ‘surrender’. (Please see What Does Surrender Mean To You” for a more detailed discussion on this.)
Instead of this, acknowledging our annoyance, and taking a different approach may transform us as well as the outcome. After all, it is a persistent irritation that results in the pearl.
As Pema Chodron summarizes,
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
So, how best can we use a ‘stuck situation’ as an opportunity to learn and transform?
If you find yourself struggling with what seems to be a ‘stuck’ situation, find a quiet time and place and then try contemplating on each of the questions below. For at least this short while, set aside all your conclusions about the situation and consider:
- What if this is life inviting you to grow and evolve in a way and at a pace that you have never experienced before? What would it take for me to be willing to accept such an invitation?
- What role are you refusing to play that if you accepted would change everything?
- How are you refusing to be that if you were willing to be would change everything?
- What quality are you refusing to embody that if you choose to embody would change everything?
- What are you resisting feeling or experiencing that if you allowed yourself to feel or experience would change everything?
- Which of your thoughts are you refusing to want to be true?
- If these are observable facts, what belief of yours do they challenge?
- What would it take for you to let go of this belief and forgive yourself for holding on to it until now?
- If it is an opinion or judgment, is it absolutely true?
- What is it that compels you to insist, defend and perpetuate it?
- What would it take for you to release all that and start from a neutral space now?
You may find specific answers to the above, or intuitively feel a softening and opening of your energy field as you park these questions in your awareness. If this be the case, record them in your own voice and loop them for a couple of days. They can be used with the Access Consciousness Clearing Statement or with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Even used as rhetorical questions, they can lead to a fresh seeing of the situation and open up new possibilities for you.
A deep, attentive listening to your innermost answers to these can lead to a fresh seeing of the situation and open up new possibilities for you.
Would be happy to hear of your experience with this exercise. Good wishes!
(If you find this useful, please share it with anyone you feel may benefit.)